Life in the End Times

Shin's gift to Annie on their One Year Anniversary

A Healing Dream

Filed under: Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 4:28 pm on Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I dreamed that I saw someone who once hurt me deeply. This is not the first dream I had of this person. In previous dreams I would see him at church functions or sitting in a different pew but we never spoke to one another. This time was different.

We were both waiting to sign a guest book or something at a table. He was wearing a suit. I felt reserved dislike and hurt towards him. He asked how I was doing. I shot him a poor attempt at a smile and looked away. Then he said, “Hey, I’m sorry.” His words had no impact on me. I really didn’t believe him or hear him out. But he said it again, this time addressing me by name, “Annie. I’m really sorry.” I looked into his face and saw sincerity in his eyes and it caught me by surprise.

I accepted his apology. And I forgave him both in the dream and in my actual heart.

In the next part of my dream I was skiing down a earthen hill. I felt freedom and exhilaration. Also I think it was at sunset because I remember there being an orange-ish haze.

I’m pretty certain God gave me this dream for my healing. But knowing the goodness of God, I believe that something has happened in the spiritual world. That perhaps this person has met God and genuinely repented. I’m thankful God has saved him. Our God is a good God. So kind so good…

Freakin Scary Dream

Filed under: Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 10:16 pm on Friday, January 15, 2010

I dreamed I ordered a sewing cabinet online for my Kenmore. It was delivered to my mom’s house. My mom also received furniture that day. Hers was a gift from a friend. Mine was not the one I ordered- it was some kind of mistake. My mom opened the top of my new cabinet and it played music but the whole thing was jolting like it was possessed. There were also paintings on it. There was an evil looking Madonna and Child, and a few other bluish faces that were ghoulish.

We took it home and I didn’t feel peace. I sensed it was evil. I didn’t want to keep it in the house. I didn’t want to sell it – I just wanted to get RID of it immediately. Elijah and Shin were sleeping and the living room was dark. I opened the front door to put it outside and it was PITCH BLACK outside. But I could make out figures walking around right outside the door. I took out a piece of paper to write the words, “FREE” on it but my letter “F” came out sideways.

All of a sudden it started talking to me. It was a friendly male voice that said, “Hey, are you alright?” but it was terrifying. The lights in my living room were all off. I collapsed in terror and started saying vehemently, “BE QUIET IN JESUS NAME. BE QUIET IN JESUS NAME” but my mouth was glued. I kept saying it until the words finally came out right. I woke up saying those words. My heart just pounding.

The evening before that dream I was researching obsessively for a sewing cabinet for my Kenmore. I was on craigslist for several hours. I noticed I was experiencing physical sensations of nausea but I passed it off as excitement. There was a point when I realized I was searching beyond a healthy limit but I continued past the warning. At that point I believe I was sinning by obsession and greed. I became vulnerable to spiritual attack.

But on a practical level I also realized there is a very real danger of bringing something into our house that I have no knowledge of. It could have spiritual baggage or history that I would not want to bring into our home. There was that distinction in my dream where my mom received furniture as a gift by a friend. So two acquisitions- one by generosity and the other by greed- it made a difference.

I’m thankful to be corrected and made aware. I hope I don’t always have to go through freaky dreams though.

Still Here

Filed under: Just Writing — Annie at 12:44 am on Monday, January 11, 2010

There have been quite a few ups and downs and I haven’t been here to tell them all. Well Elijah just turned 1 a few weeks ago. I just put him to rest about half an hour ago and I was holding his hand and watching him sleep. I calculated that his length has tripled since birth. Anyhow I was remembering how at the hospital I held his hand while he was all tubed up, and not allowed to eat. We came to visit him at CHOC after he was transferred and he started crying when we came near his heated crib. He probably heard and smelled us. I held his hand, massaged his little feet. That time is still so heartbreaking to remember. But thankfully now he’s one, healthy, defiant, curious, sweet, observant, bright boy. I love him so much. He’s amazingly cute and fascinating.\