Life in the End Times

Shin's gift to Annie on their One Year Anniversary

where home is

Filed under: In-Laws & Outlaws — Annie at 11:46 am on Friday, May 8, 2009

In need of the Bible today. I’ve been running on empty and just falling into depression and anger. Lately I’ve been longing for home. It’s been two years since we were in our own home. One year in Paraguay, then several months in Missouri and the past year with our in laws. Its wearing on me. These days I’ve been intensely longing to be at my mom’s home- I guess its the most home-y place in my heart. Not here. Here I’m on my toes, watching what I say, what I do, always vying for approval, with the constant reminders of how I am not really a member of this family because what I value and what they value are still at odds. Plus the memories of all the hurtful things that were said to me to put me in my place- always last. Now that my son is here even he is more a part of this family than I am. Sigh. I’m ready to move out and I won’t be fooled this time.