Life in the End Times

Shin's gift to Annie on their One Year Anniversary

Dream: Flooded Ceiling

Filed under: Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 10:29 am on Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I had this dream on Memorial day while taking a nap on the sofa.

My sister in law and I were talking about random stuff. She was reclined on the floor and I was on the sofa when suddenly near her head this yellow water started to drip down from the ceiling. Then it turned clear. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a trashcan with a plastic liner inside to catch the drops. But other places on the ceiling also started to form droplets and began to drip. There were emergency fire sprinklers on the ceiling and water was coming out from the actual spigot as well as the areas surrounding them. I was frantically looking for more bowls and containers to capture the water.

At the same time I was running into the foyer and yelling for my mother-in-law’s attention from upstairs so she could turn off the main or just so she’d know what was happening. But there was no response or maybe she said, “I know already!” My fears were that the furniture would be ruined but worse, that the ceiling strength would be compromised by the soggy supports and everything would come crashing down. I called for Shin in the next room and he didn’t show up to help. I somehow felt that the only who was alarmed was me and everyone else was relaxed!

This next part was strange. I didn’t know if I was asleep or awake. The first part of the dream I was running around, but now I was back on the couch groggily asleep. I saw my sister in law and someone else coming over and taking the cushions out from under me. But when they came to take the cushion under my head I believed that I wouldn’t feel anything because I thought that, in spirit, my head was already on the couch and not on any cushion.

At this point I was conscious and awake. I decided to get up and tell Shin about this dream so I twisted over onto my back to roll off the couch. But when I opened my eyes I was still on my side looking at my hands curled up in front of me. Confused, I tried again and it was the same thing. I was frustrated because it was like my mind was awake but my body was asleep, or that my spirit was moving but my body was not. So then I decided, even if I must get up in my spirit and leave my body I had to tell Shin somehow. It crossed my mind that even if he couldn’t see me he might feel my love for him if I passed right through him.

Then on the third attempt to move I was “back” and I could move. What relief. I didn’t want to stay on the couch anymore. I looked up at the ceiling to find that there weren’t any signs of water damage and no fire extinguishers installed. I jumped up and told Shin what a crazy dream I had.

At the same time Shin was having an experience of his own. When I stumbled in on him he was kneeling on the floor intently looking up. I asked him, “Did something happen to you?” He said that he was spending time with God when God told him to get some water. So he poured a glass of filtered water and drank it all. But then when he looked in the cup there was more water. So he thanked God and drank that too. All the while he was praying, “Overflow me with water. Fill me.” He was looking at the high windows when he noticed that the window panes formed a cross. God told him to keep his eyes on the cross and that God would show him writing on the wall. So that’s what he was doing… waiting for God to show him writing on the wall. That’s when I burst in with this water dream.

Well, in case my dream wasn’t the writing he was anticipating, we both went back and sat down where he was sitting and waited and watched. I imagined the cords of the window blinds swirling about as in a hurricane and I saw fully functioning fire sprinklers raining down in this room too but I dismissed it thinking it was because I came with that state of mind. I wanted the Lord to show Shin and not influence him any longer with what I was seeing. Nothing happened so we got up.

I thought the dream was a warning. Shin though it might have to do with the tv installation and water pipes in that room. Or about responsibilities coming upon me. Maybe its actually a good dream?!

Dream: Grandfather

Filed under: Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 12:16 pm on Friday, May 16, 2008

The night that grandfather passed away I had a dream about him. He was given a bicycle. He kept saying what a great bike it was and he wanted to ride it. He mounted it and began riding fast. I was afraid he couldn’t brake because he would be too feeble to press the handle brakes. But he braked fine. In fact it was like he was gaining more and more strength in his body. Then after riding around for a bit he hopped into a gold-colored car and rode away. It was a happy feeling dream

Dream: Floods, Monkeys, & Elephants

Filed under: Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 3:26 pm on Monday, May 12, 2008

I had a strange dream.

First I was in a thrift store looking for a good find. Shin was with me and I was feeling bad because he looked bored and I was taking my time. In particular I tried on gloves, but none fit. I tried on a belt that was too big. I caught at a few book titles about Israel but found nothing. I also took note that they were selling gray shrimp that were room temperature and rubbery. I wasn’t sure if it was real food or not. Then I realized I left my backpack somewhere in the store. Shin found it for me and we checked it for any missing items. Nothing was missing.

Then my mother in law came to pick us up. She looked very happy and we drove home in a compact silver honda. We were driving on a curvy coastal road that overlooked the most breathtaking blue ocean. I said, “Look at that!” But I got scared because she was driving aggressively and other cars were coming super fast too. So I closed my eyes.

Then we turned into a little downhill road. There was some flooding at the base of the hill. She drove quickly through it expecting to splash through some water and come up on the other side but she was going quickly and the water came up higher until suddenly the car floated off the road and and into the flood zone.

She was frantic and kept saying in Korean, “Oh my, oh my!!” And Shin began apologizing to her saying it was his fault for this incident and another car accident earlier. I sat quietly and calmly in the back not assuming responsibility. Rather feeling that it would be easy for them to repair the car. I tried to open my car door but hesitated to let the water in.

Then two men started walking towards us. They looked Southeast Asian. They walked over to help us and the water level was about thigh level. So we were at least at ease about not sinking to the bottom.

We got out of the car and walked to the opposite bank that had a small steep embankment. The dirt was covered with shallow holes so that I was afraid an army of ants would emerge out of a newly crushed anthill. But we all got to the other side.

There was an entire neighborhood on the other side. Shin and his mom started walking ahead of me. I was still walking slowly due to my pregnancy. Well the distance between them and me began to increase and they weren’t slowing down for me. I just remember thinking I couldn’t catch up to them but they would come back for me.

As I cut through the back of someone’s property I realized I was in the garden of some senior citizen home. Then I saw a peculiar sight. A group of chimpanzees sat together on a path and they were looking at a baby elephant. The elephant had a tomato in his trunk. The chimps started making sounds like nose-blowing to provoke the elephant to shoot the tomato out like a spitball. The elephant shot it but it fell only a few feet in front of it and broke on the ground. It was kind of disappointing. But the chimps didn’t go after it to eat it either. So I wondered why they pressured the elephant to shoot it.

I came out to the front of the senior home only to see the word, “Montessori” written on the building. It was a montessori school for senior citizens! I pursued Shin and my mother in law once more but they were out of sight completely and I was at a fork in the street. So I decided I should stay where they could backtrack and find me.

Post Analysis: Was I looking at a picture of myself in the elephants and the monkeys? Monkeys are highly familial, like my in-laws. And the elephant from another species was the odd one out- being from an entirely different clan. It was brought to this “school” or household to be trained and take orders, so it makes sense that the elephant was at a montessori school.

Diamonds, Cell Phones, Snakes Dream

Filed under: Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 10:35 pm on Monday, May 5, 2008

I’m in this classroom full of students, and I’ve received permission from the teacher to stay. Soon many are coming and the class starts to fill up. Shin is also there with me. Then an administrator comes in and says, “We’re going to reduce this class size” so a majority of people get up and leave, including Shin. But I stay because I think, “Well the teacher gave me permission earlier” but then I’m noticing that the legitimate students are dropping off official forms to add the class and I don’t have one. At that point I realize even though I have the teacher’s word, I don’t have the legal right to stay. So I leave regretfully because it was a good class. Then I’m outside and a girl is making negative comments about the school and trying to get me to side with her.

I walk away from the girl and see there are large diamond looking things all over the ground and it’s like an easter egg hunt. I have an awareness that I’m dreaming and think, “Well surely, if I pick these up in my dreams it will mean something good in real life after I wake up!” So with this feeling of liberty and a thought that God is blessing me, I actually trip into some muddy soil in my eagerness, but I don’t care. I start looking here and there and they are so pretty, each has different cuts and patterns. Some are made exquisitely, others look like glass so I’m picking and choosing the prettiest ones. And I’m in this frenzy to get as many as I can.

I also find this tree with every kind of cell phone growing from the branches. There is such variety from phones I’ve seen to, ones I didn’t know existed. Cheap looking phones all the way to a “Lexus cellphone”. I’m completely taken in and shopping the tree and I’ve got a few “diamonds” in my arms.

But the “Lexus” is like a keyword for me. Only then do I start to realize the materialism and what has come over me. My eyes start to open and I see the diamonds for what they are… they are actually worthless glass! I see one that looks like a drinking glass in our cupboard downstairs! They’re like dead weights! The cellphones too, I realize are excessive and none of them are even on. They’re just chunks of metal and plastic. I start to sift through them just to find a basic cell phone but I’m starting to feel repulsed too, like I don’t want to pick anything off that tree anymore!

I’m carrying a few glass things with me and I walk to this storefront. There’s a filled aquarium in the display window and an asian woman sticks a seagull in the water and it’s helpless. She has a snake in the other hand and the snake attacks the bird. I see the snake a moment later and it looks like it’s swallowing something. But the bird, instead of being gone, has turned into this big bloated thing. It’s beak has expanded like a pelican. The bird burps and a nasty green bubble comes out of its mouth. I enter that store and suddenly the snake crosses my path. It’s huge like a cobra and I’m frozen and terrified. I throw my purse at it to try and distract it. Then use my best tactic to appear unnoticed and eventually the asian woman opens a door and motions for it to come inside and it obeys her. They both enter the room and the door is shut.

I look for an exit through the back door and there is a facade behind the door. There’s only about 6 inches between the door and this facade. I can see all the way left and right but I can’t squeeze and go out either of those ways. Somehow I get through that facade only to hit another. But this time I crawl out through a trap door and I’m back on my knees looking into the classroom.

Then I head to my mom’s house and I sense that eerie presence of the snake lady. I feel like I’m back in that store. My mom calls out to me from another room, “Come in! We’re having dinner with some guests!!” And I freak out because I know her guest is the snake lady so I yell out, “Sorry! I can’t stay! Byeee!” And I leave.

(My sequence might be a little off.)

My Pregnancy

Filed under: Baby,Dreams & Nightmares — Annie at 11:50 pm on Saturday, May 3, 2008

When God decided to give us this baby our priority to conceive was on hold. We had been through 2 previous, unsuccessful pregnancies. So at that point we were joyfully occupied with spending time with God at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO. My first hint was during the Passion for Jesus Conference which was March 6-8. I kept falling asleep in one of the classes.

Then on Easter Sunday, March 23, speaker Allen Hood, preached on the power of the cross where Jesus was crucified. We prayed for deafness to be healed, arthritis to be cured, and barren wombs to conceive. I put my hand on my stomach just to save the blessing for later. He commented something that rang in my ear. Something to the effect of, Some of you are gonna leave this place with a gift from God today But I was full of doubt.

On the way home from that service I was having flu-like symptoms; fatigue, sinus buildup and a sensation in my lower stomach. So I asked Shin to pray for my stomach to get well. As he was praying a thought and an image crossed his mind that there was a tiny life beating to a musical rhythm in my womb. Being the guarded one, he was ready to dismiss it as a random thought. Except that a few days later God challenged him to have faith that I was indeed pregnant! None of this “50/50” business. It was surreal to hear my husband convincing me that I was pregnant. Well my menstruation date came around so I took a test from the Dollar General. It came out negative! It was tempting not to take another one for fear of disappointment.

But 5 days later we were at the dining table with an unopened pregnancy test. We emotionally prepared ourselves to receive good news or a let down by surrendering our desires to God first. We held hands and bowed our heads in serious prayer. Just then we heard the sound of a door slam and the oblivious teenage roommate walked into the bathroom and shut the door. The disruption was perfectly timed. So we shared a laugh and continued our inquiry of life with less ceremony and melodrama.

Real-life marriage thrives on unromantic but intimate moments like these- peeing in a cup and maneuvering urine with an eye-drop. He was a great timekeeper! 3 minutes passed and the pink line did not show up! Just when we were about to chuck it, the faintest, most diluted tint of pink started to appear. You could only see it if you angled the test a certain way at that! It was very anticlimactic not being able to scream “ATLAST!” at some defined moment. It was more of a deduction, “Yea…. I guess… it is a line!” Shin said, “God wants us to walk by faith.”

When we called our parents with the news, my mom said my dad had a Tae Mong which means a dream indicating that someone is pregnant or about to be. It usually pertains to family. My father-in-law dreamed he caught three fish and so my in-laws prayed that morning that God would give us a baby. They got their phone call that evening!

When got back home from Missouri we told our grandparents and on the father’s side our grandmother dreamed she picked a ripe squash from the vine. On the mother’s side the grandmother dreamed there were 5 traditional Korean vessels used for storing or fermenting food. 2 were small and 3 were large. She took white, quality sea salt rocks and poured it into three vessels.

I also had a dream but I’ll keep it private for now. But it was very similar to my maternal grandmother’s dream.

So today I am 9 weeks and 3 days pregnant! I am very happy and physically doing very well! I am hungry every two hours, and I get nauseous if I miss that mark. Sometimes I will eat pretzels or crackers in the middle of the night. I’ve had one-time cravings for egg-drop soup, pasta with marinara sauce, fish, and today Del Taco. I have an aversion to eggs, oily foods, mayo, and sometimes the thought of cheese.

So far I have not vomited although I’ve dry heaved a few times! I am so thankful! I know it could change as the pregnancy progresses, and I might miss out on some hormonal benefit later in life, but for now I am thankful that God has spared me the misery. I remember one day running to the bathroom to vomit and staring into the clear toilet water and praying, “Lord have mercy on me a sinner!”

Other stuff: I digest food very slowly and with some discomfort, and then out of the blue a burp will indicate that everything went down satisfactorily well. I have some heartburn here and there. I can’t eat as much. My skin is tending to break out a bit. I don’t fit into any pants anymore except sweats.

Overall, I am enjoying every minute.